Unplanned, Unorganized, and Undeniably Us

We are last minute people.  It’s not that we have a fear of commitment, it’s just that we always have so many balls in the air it’s hard to know where each is going to land.  I waited several days to see where Friday’s balls were going to land in order to make a plan for the night.  On Thursday I texted Anne about the possibility of watching Sof Friday night, so we could take the big girls to dinner and a movie.  On Friday at 4 I told her I didn’t need her.  At 4:30 I said, “Give me another half hour to figure this out”.  At 5 I asked her to be at my house by 5:30.  She came straight from work and I offered her mini bagels and cream cheese for dinner.  That’s a good friend.  All that was so we could have some time doing things not conducive to toddlerhood.  We went to one of Lexi's favorite restaurants, then caught a movie.     

                      

They cook at your table, thus the reason we left Sof at home:) 'Cause Russian princess would surely have caught the whole place on fire.

On Saturday we actually had PLANNED to go to Sal and Don’s.  It is Christmas dress time.  We look forward to this day all year.  The girls couldn’t wait!  Of course we had a great time, always do, and we left with our girls feeling very special.  I was a bit unorganized getting there because Adrienne informed that morning she needed her hair curled for a dress rehearsal and through a series of balls landing in the wrong place I had realized I was going to have to put together her birthday dinner for the next day.  More on that later…

           

         

Sal always has a project for the girls to make them feel involved.  Sof and Lexi set the table complete with confetti. 

                                    

Drum roll please…Here is your preview of the Christmas dresses!

Most of the night looked like this; with good food, good company, and conversation and laughs.  This day ranks up there with the red cups at Starbucks in ushering in the holidays for me. 

We left after midnight, and I spent the hour drive home thinking how I was going to squeeze everything in the next day.  I owed Adrienne a birthday shopping trip and her birthday dinner.  With her schedule, the weekends are the only time.  So, Sunday morning I did not go to church, but rather decided God would understand that I needed every hour I could get to make my biggest girl feel special!  Even with that she made her own cupcakes!  Like usual though, it didn’t matter how clean my house was(or wasn’t), or what I served for dinner.  What mattered was we got together to celebrate, and memories were made. 

          

Adrienne has been begging me for tickets to Wicked.  Little did she know I had bought them last April!

If you don't believe me that this was unplanned, just check out the candles.  All I had was Sof’s used 3 candle and a random black and white striped one! I could have put them both together to make 13, but we were celebrating my sis's b-day too! They are 20 years and 1 day apart. 13 and 33! Happy Birthday today Em! 

On Friday morning I would have told you I had no idea what we were doing this weekend, but by Sunday we had managed to fill up every waking moment. It’s our crazy life, but I love it!

What I’ve been lovin’ about this week…

                  

Cooking with the girls,

                   

and sister love. 

Be back tomorrow because my first born turns 13.  Good Lord I’m the mother of a teen.  Pray for me.

Where were you?

You know those events that are seered in your brain forever? Like 9/11? Or the day your adoption consultant calls and tells you that in a few short minutes you can open a file on your computer that will forever change your world? On November 10, 2010 around 7pm, where were you? I remember everything about that night. I was getting my nails done(yeah, that happened before I went back to toddlerhood). I went back to my car and checked my phone. There was a missed call from my agency. I didn't think much of it because our consultant worked in the evening and always did her check in calls around that time. Nevertheless, I was always excited to hear from her to get any glimmer of hope our time was coming. I called back and heard the words I'd been waiting for, "We have a referral for you". Have you ever watched water boil, or grass grow? That's what it felt like watching my inbox for the most important email I will ever recieve in my life. When these pictures finally popped up...

I thought, "She is exactly perfect". Her scared, sad eyes called to me. They said, "I need a mommy". "I need a family". What followed was a flury of tears, texts and phone calls. Mark was doing the nightly pick-ups of the the girls from their activities. He didn't tell them until they got home. They were so excited. They had wanted a "baby". They were thrilled to hear she was just 2. They wanted pictures printed to bring to school. It was just such a joyous time for us. After the girls went to bed the reality set in. We only had 48 hours to accept this referral, and to do that we needed an okay from our IA doctor. After hearing all the worst case scenerios, consulting a family friend who's a pediatrician, and spending a sleepless night thinking about it, we accepted. She felt right in our hearts. Oh how right we were. Her little life was meant to coincide with ours.

This month happens to be orphan awarenss month. Last Sunday was Orphan Sunday. What I love about right now...is there will be no more holidays without our Sofie. There will be no more waiting and wondering. There will be no more worries, concerns, or questions. Now I think, how could I have ever questioned this? I'm human though. I have other children. I did think about the possible pitfalls of adopting a child. It's not for everyone. What I can say is that, if you are, or have ever, thought about adoption, it's a leap of faith. You cannot taste the sweet victory though, unless you get into the game. There are a million reasons why it's not for everyone. If you fall into that catagory, there are other ways to support the hurting children in our world. Could you say no if they were standing in front of you? For reliable info on what you can do, check out the website at the end of the video.



Two families came to see Sof before us. They both said no. How lucky for us, because she is our happy ending, and I believe in her.

Tremaine Dance Convention

Adrienne had a dance competition this weekend.  We’re not a competition studio, so it’s not really our element, but I love any chance to see our kids dance!  Adrienne and I stayed at the hotel because the schedule is grueling.  Ends LATE and starts EARLY!  Mark brought Lexi, her friend Bree, and Sof out to see us and take advantage of the pool.  My sister brought her big girls out also.  They all swam and then stayed to watch the beginning of competition.  Sof isn’t much for the pool so she hung with me.  We had to bring Adriennne’s costumes to the dressing room after her convention class.  Sof totally fits into that world!  I think we have another dancer on our hands!  Later on she sat and watched the dancing for 2 1/2 hours!  She loves watching her big sis as much as I do!  

 

Hanging out in the hotel room…

If you find your kid doing this on her own, does it mean you have to potty train?

 

Our studio placed first in everything!  We received the overall high score for one of our dances which meant they performed in the faculty show.  They were amazing!  Adrienne looked so beautiful and has made tremendous progress from last year.  So proud of her.  I seriously can’t get enough dance.  I could watch our kids perform 24/7!  LOVE IT!  Of course no pictures in the auditorium:(

 

We had to celebrate by going out to dinner!  46 of us at a Japanese steakhouse.  We threw the staff off a little bit!

Can you tell Adrienne doesn’t want me to take anymore pictures?!  I’m so embarrassing.  Poor child. 

What I love about right now…

I’ve raised a girl that is confident.  It shows not only on stage, but in everything she does.  It’s who she is.

Thank-Fullness

So it's November and you can't help but think about what you're thankful for. In every elementary school in America you will find at least one turkey bulletin board where each child fills out a feather telling what they're thankful for. In my school we even have a staff one. I've even gone so far as to make my whole family do one on Thanksgiving in hopes of doing one every year and creating a collection of them for years to come. When we did it I gave carefully planned teacher directions. You can't just write family, that's stupid. Here's the problem...what else do you write? Let's face it, you're a total jerk if you're not most thankful for your friends and family. What I wanted was for everyone to really be specific. What are you thankful for right now? What is bringing you joy, what captures this year? When I went to my mailbox at school and saw that turkey feather staring me in the face, all I could think of is I'm thankful Sof will finally watch TV(even if it is the same Dora episode over and over)because 30 minutes of still and quiet from her is heaven. Isn't that just who you want teaching your child? So, I relented and wrote the basics, friends, family, great class this year, and being on the other side of the adoption process. There is a blog I follow that I love. Kelle is a professional blogger. She takes my thoughts and put them into perfectly worded entries with professional pictures to match. The other day she posted "What I Love About Right Now". Genius. It's the idea that gratitude is really about noticing the everyday stuff. What I love about right now is so much richer and deeper then what I'm thankful for. My teaching friends will think about it as the watermelon vs. seed theory. When we teach writing we tell kids to write about small moments. A whole trip to Disney World is a watermelon idea, but meeting Mickey is a seed, a small moment in a big event. What we are thankful for is like the watermelon. The givens like family, friends, stable paycheck, roof over our heads, food on our table, and most importantly health. What I love about right now requires being in the moment and noticing the blessings. What I love about right now...

*It's friday.
*I get to see Adrienne dance this weekend at a competition
*Lexi is loving being domestic. She wants to help with laundry and cooking.
*Sof is talking so much.
*Starbucks has their red cups out.
*It's good running weather which saves me from the 5am gym trips.
*Sof and I play in her kitchen every night before bed. She is so good at role play.
*My husband caters to the kids whims. I so don't. He's at Target with Lexi right now. Just because she asked him to take her.
*This season that doesn't require snowpants and boots, but loves candles, crock pot dinners, and baths.

I'm gonna wear this topic out this month, because that's what November is about. Being thank-full is all about noticing what's filling your cup. I'm just so happy that my venti, decaf, nonfat, no whip, cinnamon dolce latte cup is red.

More Candy

I think now is a good time to document the fact that Sof is consistently putting two and three words together.  For example, “more candy”, “No Daddy”, and “Stop Mama”. She practiced her phrases a lot last night:)  First though, we went to Lexi’s school for her parade and party.                                             What are we waiting for?

                      Loved this moment of sisters happy to see each other:)

                                          

Trick or Treating was a wonderful mess of kids and chaos and sugar!  Jack and Lexi were ridiculously perfect in their characters…

Adrienne had 5 of her dance friends over.  My rule is as long as you dress up(in a real costume) you can trick or treat.  They all came ready!

The Gnome Story…These two buddies were in Vegas this summer for a ballet intensive.  While there they saw a garden gnome and asked what it was.  Miss Kelli told them this elaborate story about the little people that live in the garden.  When Sadie called home she asked her mom about it.  Her mom played along and confirmed that they indeed were real.  Before you know it these two 12 year old girls were totally believing in gnomes.  To be honest I’m not sure if they know the truth yet, but it was only fitting that they dress the part!

     

Sof figured out the trick or treating right way.  She’s all about the candy!  When I asked, “What do you say?”.  She would say, “Thank you.  More Candy!”.  Then she would reach up promptly to help herself.  We still need a little work on manners:)

It was pretty obvious when Sof was done.

Yep, finished.

The stash was ridiculous, enough candy to cure hunger in most third world countries.  Seriously, it’s kinda glutinous. 

Of course the big girls had to challenge each other to eat the most sour candies they could find.  These girls work hard everyday at dance and are very serious about their training.  It’s great to see them let that all go and just have fun!

For some reason in our adoption process Halloween was the one holiday that really made me long for my little girl.  In 2009 we just doing our home study and I thought for sure we would have her by the next year.  I remember being at the gym and daydreaming about what she would want to dress up as and how we would explain it all to her.  Then the next year it was a huge disappointment that not only did we not have her, but we didn’t even have a referral.  Finally, we got our first Halloween with all three of our girls!  One more “first” to check off the list!